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The day I couldn't stop crying!

It was about 18 months ago when I came into the salon, just like most days I had a busy column filled with treatments. I went through my usual morning routine of setting up the treatment rooms and switching on wax pots, nothing unusual.

I’d noticed a slight tremor in my hands, but it had been there for a few weeks and put it down to my crazy busy life of juggling long days in the salon with taking care of my son and keeping on top of housework, food shopping and the occasional DIY.

A few hours into my day all was running smoothly, I had managed to keep on time for each appointment and I was looking forward to my lunch break in an hour.

Just one more appointment and I could have a break!

The client arrived, she was out of breath, it seemed like she had rushed to get to the salon on time. I asked if she would like to take a seat in our waiting area and have a drink to give her a moment to catch her breath, afterall I had some time after her treatment to catch back up on myself.

‘NO! I just want to get my wax done!’ she barked back at me.

Worried I’d offended her I tried to explain that I just wanted to make her feel comfortable, and that I was more than happy to take her straight through.

Hoping that I could rectify the bad start to our appointment I cheerfully explained what clothing she needed to remove and that I needed her to lie on her back on the treatment bed.

‘This isn’t my first wax, I know what to do! I’m not stupid!’ she barked.

‘Ah you’re right, I’ll leave you to get yourself ready’ I replied even more cheerfully.

I knew and she knew that she was being rude, and rather than be angry I decided to be kind and show compassion. I didn’t know if she had had a particularly bad day, or received some bad news. Or maybe she was nervous about having her Hollywood wax and being undressed in front of a complete stranger.

I made a conscious decision to be as kind as I could, because I didn’t know what she was going through. And hopefully she would relax and my cheerfulness would rub off on her!

The treatment was a disaster! The woman became meaner and ruder. The more I tried to ignore her behaviour the more offensive she became. By the time I finished her treatment the tremor in my hands was even worse, I was trying my best to hold back the tears that were brimming just under the surface.

I don’t know why I didn’t just stop the treatment and ask her to leave, maybe it was because I’d never been in that position before, or because I was so determined not to fail in cheering her up.

As soon as she left I had my first EVER panic attack.

I spent an hour crying and trying to breath, and my terrified team tried to console me.

Exhausted and embarrassed I tried to get on with the rest of my day, and between appointments I hid in the bathroom to cry. I even silently cried through a massage!

When the day was over I locked up the salon and walked to the carpark, when I reached the car I could feel my tears brimming again, and ended up sitting in my car for another hour crying some more.

I got home, walked through the door, and you guessed it……..cried!

I had never cried so much in my life!

I knew it wasn’t the rude woman’s fault, my reaction was a sign of something deeper going on in my brain.

The next morning I woke up, cried AGAIN! And had another panic attack.

That morning I called my team and explained I wasn’t well and I needed some time off.

I hate letting people down, and I have to be filled with the flu to not go into work, but I cancelled every client and took the whole week off. And just slept….

I knew that I needed help.

See what I didn’t tell you was that my hair had started to fall out, I kept getting cold sores, I wasn’t sleeping and I was exhausted all the time. I didn’t meet up with friends, and only left the house for work and the dreaded school run. I felt sad and lonely for no reason, and couldn’t stop my mind from wandering. I felt overwhelmed.

I had all the classic signs of anxiety and depression, but I had been ignoring them. My body was screaming at me, and I wasn’t willing to listen.

It took a panic attack for me to stop and question what was wrong.

I tell my clients all the time to listen to their bodies, and I hadn’t been taking my own advice.

I’m not an expert, and I can only draw from my own experience, but when was the last time you really listened to your body?

In my next post I will let you know what I did next…..

Love Jodie Finnigan

Founder of Pamper Me

0161 478 5412

22 Deanery Way, Stockport SK1 1NA, UK